Don’t let the state decide your fate.

Recently a 37 year-old woman died of cancer and her life partner was left with a legal battle over her assets with the surviving family. This could have been avoided entirely by simply filling out a single legal form.

Most people don’t want to think about estate planning, wills, beneficiaries, and LGBT and same sex couples fail to plan for the future to avoid nightmarish scenarios like life partners being denied visitation access in a hospital during one dying partner’s last moments on Earth by the sick partner’s family. Could you think of anything worse than being turned away at the hospital to see the love of your life while they are passing?

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Science, the church, and even the government have been trying to come up with an explanation on how gays become gays. But for most homosexuals, this state is inborn and they believe that they do not have to adjust anything about themselves since everything that they are has been set. People, specifically straight conservative ones, wonder why gays “multiply by the second”. It is their knowledge that gay people cannot in fact “give birth”, then why do gay communities grow so fast? And no one can seem to stop this growth. This is happening because more and more gays are now coming out of their closets. Depending on the personality, gay people either rush out of the closet or try to find the ‘perfect’ time first, considering the people around specially their parents.

There are several questions that gay people consider before coming out to their parents. Like “Will my mom and pop accept the “real” me?” “What would be their reaction?” “Would they disown me?” or “What changes would occur when I come out?” These are just a few of the queries that alarms their thoughts and all of which are difficult to find answers unless they actually do the ‘confession’. It might be a normal initial reaction for parents to either get surprised or shocked or even get angry when they hear the admission. Coming out to parents is just the start. And as time passes by, people would recognize how brave a gay person is by admitting their sexuality. These tips are in general and would definitely be a case to case basis. Equipping one’s self with the information that the parents would need to hear when coming out of the closet would also be very helpful. But until then, try these tips when you are ready to tell your parents what they really need to know about you.

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A troubling situation that should not be judged too harshly, we are all capable of falling in holes with little room to escape. I will try to be gentle and look at all sides when exploring this subject, and also remembers that it is very different to affairs in heterosexual couples.

It is important not to judge. Our society is so eager to humiliate, cast out, and punish us for our choices rather that teach openness, honesty, and the value of good intentions. We may all be a little healthier if we practice these principles on ourselves and each other.

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Some gay men put up with a lot in their relationships. Their long-term partners will aggressively flirt with other men in front of them, go home with a guy from the bar without any forewarning, sleep with ex-lovers without gaining consent from their current lover, or brag to their current boyfriends about the quality of their sex with strangers.

Ouch.

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